disuse.

Sitting in the dark of my bedroom. The t.v. is on but its just playing snow, I never bothered to convert to digital so it doesn't pick up any channels these days, that's okay I like the white noise and the scattered but consistent glow. Feels ghostly. Speaking of which some spooky things have been happening of late, but I enjoy them and they are secret, regardless I am thinking that I may have been followed home this weekend, followed by a 'haint'. Time will tell.

Sitting in the dark of my bedroom. I am drinking a 'tall boy' of Miller High Life 'The Champagne of Beers'. Its 5 a.m. I am not sure if this is bleak or 'punk'. My downstairs neighbour is being annoyingly loud. He has company and I am worried that soon he will begin to have sex. He is REALLY loud when he gets fucked. It makes me both irritated and anxious. I feel that I should be having loud sex as well, to prove my prowess or something, my social cachet.

Sitting in the dark of my bedroom. I can't sleep. I woke up 3 hours ago because I was having a really nausea (and possibly seizures) inducing out-of-body-experience. An unpleasant Hypnogognic incident. Not fun. Hovered a few inches above my paralyzed body while strange and unseen voices muttered in the corners of the room. Gross. Wrenched myself out of it and took a walk to the store. The Moon was just past full and surrounded by a perfect HUGE silver halo. Pretty. It made me want to feel joyous and complete. Succeeded, partially. I am told that's important.

When I woke up earlier tonight from my lame ass astral projection experience, the cloudy sky was this aweful shade of red and all I could hear were police sirens and ambulances. It made me think of being back in Africa when Table Mountain would catch fire every Summer and burn for like 3 days on end. I was so confused by the feelings cause I was still afraid of the ghosts in the corners, and it wasn't Summer it was Winter, and also I wasn't sure if I was back in my body or not. For just a second it could have been the past or the future, it could have been fear or delusion, nostalgia or regret.